Anxiety is a Buggy Alarm System
Imagine your brain is a house. Fear is the alarm system of that house. It warns you when you are in danger or something has threatened your well being. It’s useful and keeps you safe. Now imagine your alarm system is on the fritz. It sends off a blaring alarm when a squirrel runs through the backyard. Your body doesn’t know the difference between an intruder and a squirrel. Your heart starts to race, you are short of breath, experiencing muscle tension and maybe the sweats. These physical symptoms are your fight or flight response. This buggy alarm system is anxiety. It’s when you are having an intense fear response disproportionate to the level of threat. It is very difficult to live with this fritzy alarm system. You might find yourself awakened in the middle of the night by it, or avoid going out because the alarm is telling you there is danger outside. While anxiety’s intention is to keep you safe, it has a way of making your world very, very small.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 19% of American adults experience anxiety. So if you have been experiencing dread or a feeling of anxiousness, you are not alone. It can ebb and flow throughout your life. Stressors or change can make it worse. Physical changes in your body can also make it worse (pregnancy, menopause, chronic medical conditions). You may have a clear idea of what is making you anxious, but sometimes it comes out of nowhere and in my experience, people tend to find this the most frustrating. So how can you deal with anxiety? I tend to work out of the Biopsychosocial model, so let’s address a few of the biological, psychological and social factors, shall we?
Biological: The brain and the spinal cord make up the nervous system and people with anxiety tend to have a revved up nervous system. You can calm your nervous system down by engaging in meditation, relaxation, deep breathing, self-care, getting enough sleep and eating healthy (for more on self-care, look for my next post). This is easier said than done and takes time and practice, but well worth the effort if you want your alarm to lower its volume. If your anxiety is severe, you may even benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and seeing if medication could be helpful.
Psychological: Maybe you are feeling alone, excluded, insecure, useless, helpless. Maybe you are having difficulty trusting or feeling vulnerable. These are just a few of the psychological factors that can cause anxiety. Pushing painful feelings away tends to make anxiety worse. Often when my clients come to therapy, they have been running from this pain for a very long time. The more you try to ignore your alarm, the louder it gets! Once we start to look at these painful parts and help give them what they need, they tend to quiet down and anxiety tends to get better. The alarm starts to calm down because you have addressed the underlying feeling.
Social: Finally, our relationships can contribute to anxiety. Either we don’t have enough people to support us or the people we have are unhealthy. Unhealthy relationships come in all shapes and sizes. They might be superficial, one-sided or simply not enough to meet your needs. Maybe they are straight up toxic and another person is emotionally harming you in this relationship. When a new client comes for their first session, one of the most important questions I ask is “who makes you feel safe and secure?” Being around safe and secure people can help calm down your anxiety alarm, but if the alarm keeps going off in certain relationships, it's a huge red flag that something in this relationship is not working.
An alarm system is useful and has its place, if it’s calibrated appropriately. Addressing the biopsychosocial factors of anxiety in therapy can help you calibrate your alarm so that you can trust it again, and trust yourself again. You can learn skills and make changes that will help you work more effectively with your alarm and live a fulfilling life, even if it does tend to go off often.
Some level of anxiety is normal, but if you’re finding it challenging to live your life on your terms, you would probably benefit from working with a mental health professional and I’m here to help. E-mail me at srizvi@sarahrizviphd.com to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call. Relief from anxiety is closer than you think!